Encouragement from Mae — The Vicar of Richmond
Like many others around the world, I loved Apple TV’s Ted Lasso. Ted Lasso is to me what M*A*S*H was to my parents: a brilliant mix of humor and learning.
As this brilliant series ends, I’ve been thinking about Mae, the owner of the Crown & Anchor Pub in Richmond. Played wonderfully by Annette Badland, Mae is, to me, the Vicar of Richmond. As an Episcopal priest, I find myself reflecting on Mae and what she means. Now, in the spirit of Keeley Jones, I want to encourage my sister and brother clergy who are showing up like Mae to serve people in good times and in bad.
(Before we begin, a quick word about the church’s relationship to alcohol. While I’m using Mae as a metaphor for a pastor and the Crown and Anchor as a metaphor for the church, I’m not, in any way, doing some dumb side-eyed wink at alcohol and its abuse. The Episcopal Church especially has an unhealthy and prideful obsession with alcohol that does not serve us well. If this hits home for you or if you are struggling with alcohol abuse, I recommend The Rev. Erin Jean Warde’s book Sober Spirituality.)
OK. Now we’re ready.
First, Mae is always present. We never visit the Crown & Anchor without her being there. This is not an exhortation to overwork, but instead an affirmation about the way that good clergy are a healthy and constant presence in their churches. When the good people of Richmond think of the Crown & Anchor, they think of Mae. Just like for many people, when they think of their church, they think of their pastor.
When healthy, this is a good thing! The priest and church point to one another and they both point to Jesus. Who can forget the dart board scene in Season 1, Episode 8? There Mae was, fully present in Ted’s situation: “two triple twenties and a bullseye”. Thank you, pastors, for your incarnational presence in the lives of your people. So many times, people don’t need your words, just you. You, bringing the reminder and presence of Jesus.
Like Mae, sometimes all we need to do is bring our keys and open up the doors. The Crown & Anchor is like the church for Richmond, not Nelson Road, the stadium. Interestingly, we don’t see the three friends, Baz, Jeremy, and Paul at a game at Nelson Road, they’re always at the Crown & Anchor. The church is the last free, open, and welcoming gathering place for people. Mae, like a good pastor, keeps that space open.
Second, Mae is welcoming. We first meet Mae in Season 1, Episode 2 when Mae welcomes Ted and Coach Beard and treats them as she would anyone else. When the rest of Richmond FC fandom is against them, Mae is not. She presents herself as a friend and a source of — ahem — advice.
Over the series we see Mae welcoming many people, new and old. I was annoyed with Mae for being so nice to Rupert Mannion in the aforementioned bart board episode. But think of it: there was a discipline to Mae’s welcoming — a determination and unwavering commitment to it. For her to have rejected Ted, Coach (Willis!) Beard, or even Rupert would not have been in her character.
Every clergy person knows that we don’t get to choose who comes through the door. Thank you, faithful pastor, for your Mae-like determination of being kind to people that you disagree with, are cruel, and you flat out don’t like. This Mae-istic discipline is expected of us but few people know how difficult it can be. Jesus blesses those who do not keep the little ones (in character, not just in age) from coming to Him.
Third, Mae is wise. She abides in the Crown & Anchor ready to give you the word you need in the season you are in. Lasso fans will recall the times she’s done this with every character. It starts with her challenge to Ted to set boundaries: “Don’t let them call you a wanker, Ted” in Season 1. In Season 3, Episode 10, Mae helps Keeley get back on track in a stunning scene I encourage you to watch again.
We will remember Mae’s consistent presence in Ted’s life. She welcomed him, supported him after his panic attacks, and really helped our guy out with a new perspective on parenting by reciting Philip Larkin’s “This Be the Verse” at the pinball table. (All we can do as parents is the best we can.) I loved her final Godly admonition to Baz, Jeremy, and Paul to grow up in the final episode, too.
Thank you, faithful clergy, for the courage you show in giving these timely words. It takes bravery to tell someone what they need to hear and clergy are in a more vulnerable place than Mae. We don’t want to hurt people and often tread lightly to keep people in their relationship with God and the church. So for all the times when you’ve stepped up when you were in the right place at the right time, thank you.
I was hoping to see Ted say goodbye to Mae. As a pastor, though, I thought it was fitting. Our final look at Mae is her receiving her certificate of ownership of Richmond FC, faithfully at the Crown & Anchor with her congregation. Sometimes we get to hear about the difference we’ve made in people’s lives, but most often, we don’t.
Like Mae, the faithful pastor is content to keep going, focusing on who is there, not on who isn’t. This has been my hardest lesson as a priest over my 25 years — learning contentment. Like the great Lasso-theologian Leslie Higgins said, “Humans are never going to be perfect….The best we can do is to keep asking for help and accepting it when you can”.
Thank you, sister and brother clergy, for the steady way you let people in and out of your lives. The people who are here for a moment and gone the next. (That grieving family you helped with a funeral and the young family whose baby you baptized but never saw again, that troubled soul you invested in but now has taken offense and left…) The people that consume pints of our energy and love and leave without a thanks or goodbye. Thank you for showing up in seasons of hurt and betrayal. Thank you for keeping the doors open while being misunderstood. Mae made it look easy, but you and I know that sometimes it is hard.
May we be inspired by Mae, who as the Vicar of Richmond was the way Paul challenged Timothy to be as a pastor: persistent, convincing, rebuking, and encouraging. Thank you for being there, like Mae, when the place was full and when the place was empty, in the wins and in the losses.
