To Be Met Where You Are
These are trying times. We are being challenged in ways that we know about — economically and physically. We can see the charts where Coronavirus cases are going up and the economy is going down. And we are being challenged in ways that you can’t mark on a chart — emotionally, relationally and spiritually. These times put enormous pressure on us as spouses, partners, parents, friends and more.
We are frustrated.
And when we are frustrated we raise our metaphorical fist in the air and expect the universe to align itself to our wishes. We want to be noticed and for the people around us to change in light of our frustration. So the seventeen year old son that doesn’t take out the trash is not only disobeying, but failing to appreciate and understand his mother on a deep level. How can he be so uncaring? Doesn’t he see what I am going through?
What if the problem isn’t with the son, it’s with you? This is what COVID-19 frustration can do to us: it makes us see only what we are going through. It makes us blind to what those around us are going through. It puts our frustrations and problems above others. Put another way, what about your son? What might he being going through?
In Luke 20:27–40, Jesus has an interesting conversation with a group of Sadducees, a group famously unbelieving in the resurrection. They try to trap Jesus in a question — if a woman is married to a man and he dies, marries his brother and he dies, and she ends up marrying all seven brothers, who’s wife will she be in the resurrection?
These guys were counting on Jesus getting frustrated. They were counting on Him wanting to defend Himself and that He was going to put Himself first. Instead, He chooses to meet them where they are. He takes a text from Exodus, in the first five books of the Bible that the Sadducees accepted, and quotes them a verse. He tells them that they are thinking about it all wrong, and reminds them that when God met Moses in the burning bush He told him “I am the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob”. He is the God of Abraham, not was the God of Abraham, even though Abraham is dead.
Stunned, having clearly not thought of it that way, some of them reply to Jesus, “Teacher, you have spoken well.” They were met where they were and were changed.
So what does being a parent, spouse, co-worker and friend in these trying times have to do with the Sadducees question to Jesus about the resurrection? When you are frustrated — and Jesus had to have been frustrated here — it doesn’t mean you have to respond with poor communication, anger, sarcasm or cruelty. In fact, it just might be a God-given opportunity for you to meet someone where they are, with compassion, empathy and insight.
Let’s go back and consider the seventeen year old son who committed the misdemeanor of not taking out the trash. This loss — of the school year, of not seeing his friends, of the milestone events like prom and the band contest he’d been looking forward to — it is the biggest loss he’s known in his life to date. How will he remember you during this time of loss? This loss he’ll remember for the rest of his life? Will he remember his loneliness or will he remember that you met him where he was?
We are able to do this because Jesus has first done it for us. Jesus knows that the only place He can meet us is where we are. He comes to us. In His incarnation, in the voice of a friend, in the Scriptures, by His Spirit and in that still, small voice. He doesn’t ask you to change first. He is with you now, just as you are and right where you are.
It is hard. But let us take up the example and model of our Lord Jesus Christ. And blessedly, empathy is how the Lord will heal us. The very best way we can heal and get through our own frustration is to show kindness, especially to those who know and love us most. The way to get through this is is on level ground, working it through together. Tear down the walls and build a bridge instead. We all have trash that needs taking out and thanks be to God, Jesus has given us each other and shown us a more excellent way.
